Hello!

The show is today!! In like 3 hours! Sorry the essay is so late something is wrong with my brain and it's causing me to be bad at things I usually am good at. You are receiving this because you either have attended a show before or are attending this one :) if you are in the former please purchase a ticket from here: https://luma.com/b27u8ydx

Prior emails here: https://listmonk.sadgoldfish.com/archive

(The minions email is especially good).

Some things:

LOCATION: 15 Thompson Street, Kensington. Head up into the big empty courtyard and there'll be a room there. Please knock, I do not have FOH so you'll have to be a little brave. If you get confused call me on 0450 224 313.

TIME: 6:00pm!!! Don't be late! I cannot hold the show this time as some people need to leave on time.

FOOD: règānmiàn (热干面), it will be vegan version. I also have a FUCKTON of wine that will be free so please don't get drunk at my tiny community focused event or I will have to curb stomp you and I really don't want you to see that side of me.

Looking forward to seeing you all!!

Okay little essay:

I got super into reading about cryonics recently. The thing where people freeze themselves in order to one day be re-awakened in the future and live forever.

The thing about cryonics I find super fascinating is just how unbelievably unscientific and unreasonable it is.

To loosely go over some of the issues (sorry if any of you are putting aside money for a tube and I'm about to crush your dreams):

1. When water freezes, it expands and forms sharp crystals. So when you freeze a human body, all the water inside us freezes and slices up our little organs and brains and neurons and delicate skin cells. In order to solve this problem, cryonics experts instead fill the body with "cryoprotectants". You find some of these naturally in animals and organisms that live in cold, cold environments. The thing with  cryoprotectants is that, at the dosages needed to ensure no damage to human tissue, it poisons us.
2. The other option is to just focus on freezing the brain, with the hope that in the future that brain can be moved into a computer or another body. The thing is though, as with all things in life, drawing a clean line between what is "brain" and what is "not brain" is much harder once you start trying to draw a fine line. It's why all pop-science articles say "Science has discovered that psychics might be real!" and the linked research articles they provide say "When analysing a small subset of data, in this area, on people who are 24-25 about the topic of sports, we note a slightly better than random chance selection as to future winners. More research is needed to provide anything conclusive".
   See the brain seems like it's just that ball in the noggin. But it's actually connected to LITERALLY EVERY PART OF THE BODY. Is the nervous system part of the brain? The gut (hangry friends all nod)? What about hormone producers? Do these things not influence the "you". If we take just the bit in the skull, how much of you are we leaving behind? All of this says nothing of the soul (unscientific nonsense that just happens to have been a part of every human culture for the last 60,000 years).
3. Finally, economics. Whoever freezes you has to have the cash to purchase or free communal access to liquid nitrogen in order to keep that shit at the required temperature for the next who fucking knows. 

Despite all of this, a subset of people still want to do it. Your housing crisis kids don't need your cash, give it to some stranger who will probably put 9 people into a single tube and make them into human goo by going on holiday and forgetting to top up the freezing juice.

This was what started my interest in the things I have killed. The little bugs on my windshield, the plants I didn't water, the dogs I've had to put down. If I could have frozen them the moment after their death, and later revived them in the future, would it absolve me of my guilt? Would it be a better world? If not them, then why me?

To end this little story I'll include a little short thing I wrote as part of a broader essay on Art vs. Science (the concept not the band):

I wonder why I have this pain in my belly? I wonder when it will go away? I wonder why it goes away? I wonder what pain is? I wonder why it hurts when a rock falls on my head? I wonder if a rock has fallen in my belly? I wonder why I bruise? I wonder why I bleed? I wonder why the bruises and the blood go away after a bit? I wonder what is death? 

I wonder why plants don’t have blood? I wonder why animals stop and go cold after a bit? I wonder why plants don’t get slow and cold? I wonder why when I eat plants and cold animals the pain in my belly stops? I wonder if plants always have pains in their belly because they don’t have mouths? I wonder why cold animals smell bad after a while? I wonder why cold animals taste bad after a while? I wonder why the pain in my belly is back? I wonder why animals seem to stop growing after a bit but plants keep growing forever, and if it’s the same reason that they stop and go cold? I wonder why I’ve stopped growing? I wonder what is death? 

I wonder what is the sun? I wonder where the sun comes from? I wonder where the sun goes? I wonder why the sun does not fall on my head and make me bruise and bleed? I wonder why apples fall down off trees? I wonder why it hurts less when an apple falls on my head than when a rock falls on my head? I wonder if the sun falling on my head would hurt more than a rock? I wonder why apples bruise when they hit my head? I wonder why apples bruise like I bruise but don’t bleed like I bleed? I wonder why apples don’t get slower and go cold like animals, but also don’t get taller like plants? I wonder what is death?

I wonder if death is not something that happens but something that is happening? I wonder with every rising and falling of the sun, if a little more death is happening to the animals and me? I wonder if death isn’t happening to the plants? I wonder how many more times I will see the sun rise? I wonder how many more times the plants will see the sun rise? I wonder how much more death needs to happen before I go cold? I wonder how much I’ll have learned before I go cold?

See you tonight my beautiful, murderous freaks.