Hello!
The show is today!! In like 2 hours! Sorry the essay is so late the thing that was wrong with my brain got worse and now I have 3 therapists and my doctor is sending me to get magnets put in my brain. You are receiving this because you either have attended a show before or are attending this one :) if you are in the former please purchase a ticket from here: https://luma.com/68n22wt2
Prior emails here: https://listmonk.sadgoldfish.com/archive
(The minions email is especially funny if you need a laugh).
Some things:
LOCATION: 15 Thompson Street, Kensington. Head up into the big empty courtyard and there'll be a room there. Please knock, I do not have FOH so you'll have to be a little brave. If you get confused call me on 0450 224 313.
TIME: 6:00pm!!! Don't be late! If you are going to be late that's fine, just open the door and slide in or just come for the potluck.
FOOD: NO WINE THIS TIME!! sorry. I still have not purchased any food (magnets not working) so I think I'm going to make a huge stew. I hope that feels christmassy enough. Thank you to all of you bringing food I love you with my whole heart. You may leave trays with me or you may decant into another container or whatever.
Looking forward to seeing you all!!
Okay little essay (Jade's is attached!)
When I started this process Jade asked me what rituals I would never ever skip. The only one I can think of, and the only one which remains important to me, is Trans Day of Remembrance.
TDOR is generally a very quiet affair, it's for the community to remember those of us who we've lost. As a white settler in this land, I don't have a lot of customs or traditions that feel special. Commercialism, capitalism and tall poppy syndrome have made them all feel so disconnected from their origins and meanings that they just feel like another day to me. Christmas would probably mean a lot more to me if my faith was stronger and more institutionalised than it is. Instead, it's mostly an expensive time where I go back and see my family (nice) and then have no money and stress about gifts and food and the fact that nana is getting old and I'm getting old and I've missed my nephews growing up and becoming the people they are. It's a reminder of all that I left when I moved down here, rather than a return and reconvening.
TDOR is not stressful. It's also not for friends and family. Each year I catch the train to vic park stations alone. I wander into Collingwood town hall alone. I get a seat somewhere near the back alone.
The same pattern generally follows.
Then the oddest ritual of all. One created not by the community but one person. This one mother who's name I don't know always arrives last minute and asks if she can speak and present a slideshow. She plays the music of her daughter. She shows a slideshow of her daughter. She tells us all about her daughter.
We all suffer her loss together, every year, despite the fact it's never been on the agenda. Despite all this time I don't know her name or the name of her daughter. It's made mildly comical by the fact her daughter's music is hardcore electronic dubstep style beats, that play over the top of a congregation of maybe 60 trans people all sitting quietly and respectfully. Occasionally a chair will make a loud basketball court squeak as someone shifts in their seat. I will cry.
This ritual is mine though I have nothing to do with it. One day, I suspect she might finally feel content in her grief and might no longer attend. Something might happen to her and she might be unable to come. Something might happen to us, as a community, and we won't be able to hold this event. Then my ritual will be gone.
When it's all over, there is some biscuits and generic tea and coffee at the back of the room. I smile at people, but I never talk. It's meant to be a moment to connect, but I feel that people generally don't.
The whole event is a quiet, poorly funded and awkward affair and I would not miss it for the world. It achieves something for me that no other holiday has. A sense of meaning.
The next day, Nov 21, is my birthday.
See you all tonight. I hope you are excited to find your own rituals.